just one thing

GO BYU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

choice

I don't really have anything to say today. I just wanted to type and get a new post on here.

So, what is on my mind today?

Choices.

My friend and I were walking one morning and we were talking about choices. Specifically as choice relates to spouses. She said she had a friend who had married one man and then always wondered what life would have been like if she had married her other choice. (the one on a mission) My dear friend told her, it doesn't really matter. She had made her choice and that was that. You then go forward with that choice, resolved to make it work. What would our world be like if more people just stay resolved to make their choice work. What if we just gave our all and continued trying instead of throwing in the towel and making another "choice".

I have made choices in my life, from my major, to my husband, to having children as fast and as many as we did. Are there times I could have questioned my choices? Yes. Life would have been so different had I made any of those choices differently. Do I regret any of them? No. I enjoyed my major. It was a highlight of my college experience. I will need to do more schooling to do anything with that major. But I enjoyed it and I am proud of my Bachelor's degree. I am grateful I can say to my children, I finished school. With a 10 month old baby. I did it. And so can you. Of course I don't regret my hubby choice. I just adore him. He completes me better than others could. Yes, marriage is a lot about going with the flow. Going with the one you marry. He isn't the only one I could have married nor the only one I could have been happy with. But I think I am best with and happiest married to him. Our children. I will not deny that there are days when it has been HARD. Hard to have them so close. Hard to have chosen children over a job while said hubby was still in school. But regret? Nope. I love our family. Just the way it is. I love where we are at. I love what we have learned. It's been fun. Crazy. Hard. And worth every sacrifice we have made.

So I guess, at the end of the day, my friend is right. We make a choice. And then we go with it. There is no point in looking back. I heard this quote in this movie the other night. Love it. Not exact--have to watch the movie again to perfect it, but there is the general idea.

The past is only history; the future is a mystery. All that matters in now and that is why they call it a present.

thinking on friday

A couple of things on my mind today.

Barack Obama is my President-elect. He will be my President. Though I did not vote for him, I will support him--as much as I can. I will pray for him. I will hope for him. And I will wait. Watch. And we will see. It will be okay. The people have spoken. And it gives me encouragement to see the transfer of power. There is much about the political process that bugs to no end. But it is relatively smooth still. And peaceful. I'm grateful for our great country. Watching this whole thing has renewed my love and devotion to my country.

Another thing on my mind. Is being offended a choice or a real emotion? I haven't decided. And so I don't judge those who either make that choice or feel that emotion. But in my own life, I have tried very, very hard to make the choice to not be offended by others. I have tried very, very hard to look at the person's heart. To look at them as a brother or sister in a spiritual sense. I get bugged, sure. But aren't we all just here, doing the best we can, trying the best we can? Do people really offend with the sole purpose to offend? I don't think so. I really don't. I do know that our Savior chose to never be offended. Even when provided with ample opportunity to feel offended, he chose the higher road. He still loved. I am not Him. I am not perfect. But I can try. And that is what I do. I love, I try, I pray, and I love some more.

afternoon showers

I took a shower at 3 PM today. Funny how the day just speeds by at warp speed. So fast I can't even take the half-hour for me to get clean until 3:00. And that was a good day. Yesterday, I didn't even see the other side of the shower curtain. I read a quote one time about how Helen Keller, Albert Einstein and some other amazing people only had 24 hours a day, just like me. I think it was supposed to be a motivating quote of sorts. Not so much. Though maybe I should find some consolation in the fact that the people on the list didn't have five children under the age of 9. Still, the majority of those five kiddos are not even home for the good majority of the day, so honestly is that really an excuse? The baby is nursing less. How can I get so little done each day? That question holds so much frustration for me. (and don't answer me by saying stay off the computer) Though that could be partly true. But all in all, I have spent a grand total of maybe 30 minutes on here today. So that isn't a huge chunk of time. Mothers of young children generally work hard. All day long. And the day comes to a close and there are still piles of laundry, clean and dirty, piles of toys, somewhere, kitty litters and dishes, homework pages and backpacks. I think I want a cut-off time. A time when I can sit down, sigh with relief and say, my job is done--for today. Alas, a mother's work never ends. Another quote. More inspiration. And so I close with a question, what time did you take a shower today?

Change of pace . . . politics

I just found the following story on my friends blog and found it to be rather interesting. I am not so sheltered or naive as to think that either party is perfect nor do I profess that all tenents of the Democratic platform and beliefs are wrong. However, there are basic and fundamental differences between my core beliefs and the Democratic party. And this is one of those differences.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat, and among other liberal ideals, was very much in favor of higher taxes to support more government programs, in other words "redistribution of wealth."

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in, and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the need for more government programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school.Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying. Her father listened and then asked, 'How is your friend Audrey doing?' She replied, 'Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies, and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus; college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over.'

Her wise father asked his daughter, 'Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA.'

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, 'That's a crazy idea, and how would that be fair! I've worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!'

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, 'Welcome to the Republican party.'

clouds and choices

This black cloud has been following me for two days now. Two days of blackness inside my soul. I want to chase it out with sunshine--I want to push it out. I should be able to, shouldn't I? I am surrounded my so many rays of sunshine, just trying to pierce my soul with their light. Is it because of the light I was fed on Sunday? I wanted to come home and write all about the spiritual feast that was mine that day. How fed and full I felt. From Sacrament to Relief Society, with Sunday School in between. I almost didn't go. Almost. But I did. And I was so glad I did. I was renewed. Anxious to face life again.

Monday and Tuesday were great. I chose strength. I chose happiness. Wednesday I faltered. Thursday I fell down. Hard. So today, Friday I am trying to get back up once again.

I had forgotten about Sunday by the time Wednesday rolled around. So now, as I try to recall what it was that fed me, my memory is quite clouded. It was Ward Conference. Oh yes, it's coming back now. Our Bishop spoke. I love to listen to him--it is reminiscent of EFY speakers for me. He spoke about finding the Savior in the scriptures. The insights he brought up, the thoughts on scriptures I have read but never fully comprehended was deep. Thought provoking. Our Stake President spoke as well. I don't remember his talk as much, though I do remember feeling quite satisfied when he sat down. In Sunday School we spoke about the Savior's visit with the Nephites. One thing that really struck a chord in me was when the Savior says, after seeing the Nephites' faith, that his joy was full. Our good teacher pointed out how much joy we, as imperfect, mortal beings feel when we see our own children's faith. When their spirituality is manifested in something they say or do. So imagine how much joy it gives our Father and our Savior, the perfect and spiritual beings they are, when we manifest our spirituality in the things we do. And it says it right there. His joy was full. We also brought up how the Lord had them come up "one by one"--He blessed them, one by one. Individually. It was pointed out how individual this Gospel is. How it is a one on one experience with the Lord. Case in point--the Sacrament; the Temple recommend interview; each priesthood ordinance we participate in--all on an individual level. Then in Relief Society we spoke of Joseph Smith and trials in this life. Our Stake President taught the lesson. It was really touching. I am sorry to say that a small part of my emotional energy is spent in worry. Worry about when the "big one" is going to hit. I feel that my life has been really, really good. My list of blessings includes a faithful, loving husband; five beautiful, healthy children; two parents who love me and who are still alive; four siblings who I love, am close to and who are still here with me as well; extended family; a home; running water; electricity; a car--actually, now, 2 cars again--yeah!!!; a healthy, strong body; many wonderful, wonderful friends. And my list could go on and on. It outweighs the trial list in my life by a long shot. I know of many who struggle with things that I can't fathom. I met a woman with two children at the park one day, we started talking--turns out she had two more children. Two older ones who a few years previous to our meeting had both died in a fire. I know of cancer, accidents, death--so many, many things that can afflict us. And so, I wait. It has to be my turn someday, right? When I can't find one of my children for a minute or two, I panic. To an extreme. Because my time has come, my child is gone, and I will now be one of those parents on the evening news, begging for the return of my little one. I will have been inducted into a club I have no desire to ever be a member of. My own mortality scares me the least. I worry for those I would leave behind. I would miss them desperately I think. But to be the one left. That is something that scares me. A lot. And then, I also wonder, would I be strong enough to turn to my Lord? To turn to the one source of comfort. And would I allow the Atonement to work it's magic? Would I choose to be faithful? I sure hope so.

And that brings me full circle, to today. Back to those black clouds I am letting cloud my hope and my vision. Do I have the strength to allow the rays of sunshine around me to pierce these black clouds? Will I choose faith over despair? Today, right now. In the face of this, my own personal trial. Small as it may be compared to the trials of some, it is still mine. And so I will face it. With as much strength as I can muster. And hopefully I can build up some much needed spiritual muscles while I am in the process.

Fourths

I got tagged. This one said to find the fourth folder, fourth picture. So I did. And here it is.



Say hello to my tomatoes. I took this picture the other night for a cooking blog my sisters and I have started. I was making BLTs. And these were the delicious tomatoes I used. Thank you Kari!! I love tomatoes. And I love BLTs.

So now I tag whoever wants to do this. It's fun and quirky and pretty quick as tags go.

who am i?

Take the Quiz here!

creating and compassion

So I was finally able to read President Uchtdorf's talk that he gave last Saturday evening to the women of the Church. After yesterday, it was music to my ears. It was relief. It was beautiful Why?? Because I created and showed compassion yesterday!! Very exciting. I was not perfect in my creating and compassion, nor complete. But it was there. It was a part of my day. So I am okay. I loved his words to us women. I love to hear him speak. He is one of my new "favs"--if it's okay to have them. His voice is so warm and comforting. He looks so classy up there--so real. I love him as my leader. I love him as an Apostle and servant of our Lord, Jesus Christ. He healed me from my yesterday and gave me hope for today. Thank you President Uchtdorf for listening to the Spirit. Thank you , Heavenly Father for hearing my prayer.

Strong Enough

That's what I want. I want to be the "rock" for my family I am supposed to be. And right now, today, I feel like a mushy piece of goop. Yeah, goop. Drippy, slimy and green. (to go with the green shirt I am sporting today) Today, I don't feel like I can do this anymore. My children are tired and grouchy; I am tired and grouchy; and my hubby is gone. The house is a MESS. Beyond a mess. There is no green carpet peeking through the layer of toys in the toy room. The laundry is mountainous and the kids room looks like . . . well, looks like a mess. The dog was neutered yesterday and is miserable--especially with his new accessory (the lovely lampshade). Dinner is ready (it's 7 pm) and it consists of a fried egg, a mini-popover, some canned peaches, and a glass of milk. Hmmmm . . . All I want to be is strong enough to get through these waning months of hubby's graduate school. A shout-out to all single parents out there. I seriously do not know how you do it.

happiness . . .

I am happy today. I am sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I got my butt out of bed at 5 AM and drove to the pool and swam laps for 25 minutes. Yeah, right--it has a lot to do with that. Other things that are making me happy at this moment in time--

Cortney's cute voice.
The blue sky.
John Mayer's song, "Say".
Church yesterday was so good. I was spiritually fed.
Lydia's seven month pictures on my blog.
Knowing what we are going to wear for family pictures on Saturday with my dear Amy.
The gorgeous full moon this morning as I was driving home from dropping Jon off at his car-pool spot.
My friend I introduced the Gospel to in High School has accepted a huge responsibility in his spiritual life. I'm proud of him.
Weighing in at 154 this morning.
The brownies I made yesterday were so yummy.
Jon and I went on a date this weekend.
Jon kissed me this morning.

Well, that's the end of the song. Love that song. Have a happy day!!

NieNie

It's been a little less than a month since I met Stephanie Nielson and her hubby, Christian. From what I can tell, they are incredible people who cherish the more important things in life--mainly family. And God. I have been deeply impacted by this woman and I have only met her electronically--through her blog. I have hesitated to share her story and my ensuing feelings on the subject. It's sad, heart wrenching really, why I know her, why I'm changed because I know her. Of course I guess I wish I didn't know her because if I didn't, then maybe none of it would have happened. She would still be in her world and me in mine. Going about life. Washing dishes, driving around, reading, blogging. I have pondered before about this blogging world I am a tiny part of. Just a small blip in the whole blogging experience, really. Stephanie was a bigger blip. Read regularly by many around the world. I had never heard about her until after her accident. I originally read about her on my friend's blog. And now, I have spent some time reading back through her blog. Reading about her life, who this woman was--no, who she is.

Beautiful.
Dark hair, freckles, an infectious smile. A sparkle in her eye. She takes care of herself. She is secure in herself. I am inspired to find more of me. To be proud of me. To be accepting of me.

Happy.
I want to be even happier than I am. I let go of my happiness sometimes. There are days that I wake up and a dark cloud is just hanging over me, not wanting to leave me alone. Blocking out the light. Blocking out some of my happiness. But I need to remember that clouds are above us only. And so many of my blessings, so much of my happiness is always looking up at me, through the beautiful eyes of my children. And the direct source of all happiness and light, my Savior, is best found by getting down on my knees, bowing my head, closing my eyes, in humble prayer.

Spiritual.
A link almost daily, if not daily, to general Conference reports can be found on her posts. I didn't get far enough to find an explanation. Perhaps the one she had read that day. I'm not sure. But it has inspired me to read those talks more.

In love.
Absolutely, irrevocably, head-over-heels in love with Mr. Nielson. Don't get me wrong. I am in love with my husband. I am. But sometimes, life takes over. We are busy. And I let that love slip and slide around at times. I worry too. I worry about sounding cheesy or something. And I shouldn't worry. She has inspired me to love him more. To express my love for him more. To be grateful for each day I have with him.

A mother.
Just like me. And so many, many, many of us. We are co-creators with God. Given the special blessing to create, grow, teach, and love these children of God. Is all peaches and cream? Is life always rosy and pink? No. Life can suck some of the time. There's so many things that can distract us and fill our lives with stress and worry. But when it's all said and done, we are mothers. In it for the long haul. And because of Stephanie, I want to be a better mother. No basket on my head, thank you very much!!

Healthy.
She is a vegetarian (not I-though I do try to work in 1-2 meatless meals each week.)She runs. And runs, and runs, and runs. I run. Sort of, kind of, maybe. Working on it. Need to some more. Like it when I'm doing it. It's just the anticipation of the pain that inhibits me most times. But you can tell she values her body, the amazing creation it is.

A sister and a daughter.
She loves her family so much. And they love her. I'm grateful to have seen a glimpse of their love. I love their big family.

Anyhow, that is some of my thoughts on Stephanie. She and Christian are in my prayers as often as I remember. I hope the constant prayer in my heart helps too. And I hope by sharing this here, that perhaps at least one more person will be touched by their story and find it in their hearts to offer up one more prayer in their behalf. According to NieNie's sister, they are all feeling the prayers of others being offered in their behalf. Let's keep that up.

Today . . .

I wanted to pause to remember today. September 11. It used to be just another day. Weird, huh. I guess that's how life is. You live life pre and post events.

Jonathan was asking questions in the car today about 9/11. I answered as best I could. Matthew said, "well, that's dumb. They died when the plane hit the buildings." (talking about the terrorists) How do you explain suicidal terrorists who hate America to kids? "Why do they hate Americans, Mommy?" I honestly don't know. Sure, some will quote theories on the big bad bully America-how it's our screwed up foreign policy that spurred on the bad guys. Yadayada. I don't buy that. It's Satan. He hates our country--he hates our freedom. Freedom is the thing he wanted to deny us--he didn't trust in the Father enough to want any of us, himself included, to have freedom to choose. So he is able to stir up anti-America sentiment since it's not a perfect world, not a perfect country.

I have a small ache inside when I remember this day, seven years ago. Confusion, anger, hurt, sadness, shock, disbelief, relief . . . what emotion didn't I feel that day? Perhaps happiness--yeah, it was closer to relief than happiness that my children and husband were with me. That no one I knew or loved was involved in 9-11. Selfish relief, I suppose. You know that feeling--phew, glad that's not my trial.

So, I wrote the following thoughts in a comment on my friend's blog

Thanks Amy for your thoughts today. I almost did forget . . . over the past week, the upcoming anniversary would pass through my thoughts--as it does every once in a while, all of the time. Seven years have passed. Jonathan was 2. Matthew was months old. Then this morning, in the rush to get everyone into the car and get Jon to Shop-Ko on time, I didn't even think about it--till we backed out of the driveway and saw the flags lining the street. I love that sight. I really do. I love those flags blowing softly in the breeze. Moving with the wind. Anyhow, eventually I got KSL turned on and they were broadcasting the ceremony at Ground Zero. The names, once again, being read. One by one. The woman reading the names at the time read her father's name. A firefighter. It was such a surreal day. I had nightmares about it for a while. We had been to NYC the summer of 2000 and didn't take the time to go up in the towers--just thought they would always be there. We would do it next time we made it out to NYC. I remember, like you, watching TV day after day, hour after hour. The continous news feed at the bottom of the screen. I also remember listening to the radio and you know those radio mixes they put on there with the people calling their loved ones or whatever mixed with song--I think then the song was Hero. I remember specifically driving up to BYU to pick up Jon from class, listening to that song, bawling like a baby. What else to say . . . such a time of reflection on all we have. All we are blessed with. A time to remember. A time to pray.

It's how I felt immediately after reading her post.

God bless America.

Tears and the Olympics

So did anyone else cry when they watched Michael Phelps' mom watch him win gold after gold--race after race. And when he won by that insane .01 of a second--come on, does that amount of time even exist?--just her complete shock and joy and raw emotion!! I know he's still her baby. Even with all those medals and cameras--he's her baby.

And then when that graceful Nastia won the gold all around--the tears were there again. I do have issues with the gymnastics and could do another blog on that . . .however. Beside the point. I cried. I'm a sap. Yep, a sappy boob--or some such thing. Perhaps this is getting too personal.

WOW

That is all I can say. We watched the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics in China tonight--amazing. Incredible. Words don't do it justice. I enjoyed it all and would watch it again. That doesn't necessarily happen with all opening ceremonies. The fireworks were incredible--all of it was. Spectacular. Absolutely spectacular. And the torch lighting--worth the 4 1/2 hours in and of itself. (these itty-bitty pictures so don't do it justice, but . . . .)

People Connections

The children started swimming lessons on Monday and I have run into a few people I haven't seen in months or even years. It has been fun!!! It has gotten me thinking about the whole 6 degrees of seperation thing--I don't think it is a coincidence that we are as connected as we are. I don't fully believe that all people come into your life by accident. Some do and some serve no purpose whatsoever, but some . . . . .some can really change your life. For good, for bad. It's kind of amazing. I look back over my life and the people I have been blessed to know--it's pretty cool. So here's a shout out to all of you in my life who mean so much to me. I'm glad I know you. I'm glad our paths have crossed.
I talked to a woman today at swimming lessons--I don't know even know her name. I do know that her daughter is 3, almost 4--in Cortney's class. She (the daughter)has this pretty, curly red hair and she hates having water splashed on her face. Neither this woman nor her husband have red hair--it's in the genes somewhere though. I watched her as she fretted about her daughter screaming in the pool (who, by the way, was doing so much better by the end of the lesson.) It's hard to be a Mom so many times--and so rewarding so many more times. Our paths crossed briefly. A few minutes is all. I have always wanted to write a story about this theme of lives crossing and how our decisions can ultimately affect so many more people than just ourselves. That our lives are all interconnected. That we aren't brought to the same place as someone else by mere coincidence. That we can learn so much from others and their lives and experiences. Not sure about any details of this story. I just think it is an interesting theme that could possibly be fun to explore in a fictional setting.
That is one positive aspect of moving--if we ever sell our house--everywhere I go, I "pick up" more friends. My bestest friend, my longest friend, is Karyn. We have been friends since second grade in Plymouth Massachusetts. That is incredible to me. Especially now that I have children in elementary school. That's my entire life. I have dear, dear friends from High School in North Carolina. Nancy, Maria, Julia--Julia I just reconnected with because of the beauty of Facebook. Haven't talked to her in 13 years--and here we are. I have friends from college--that list is a bit longer. I love them all. There is Kim from the first ward Jon and I lived in after we were married. She's in Alaska now. I have a good group of women I adore from the second ward we lived in after that. Some absolutely amazing people who I love. And now, this ward we are in--another group of women I just adore. So it's kind of fun to wonder who I might get to meet in our next place of living wherever that may be. If it happens. My life becomes what it is because of me and also because of the people I connect with as the years go along. I wonder at times what our lives would have been like had we stayed where we were instead of buying this home. I am sure many things would have been different--financially things might have been better in some ways. But money isn't everything. And the people I know and love who I wouldn't know and love . . . .it's worth it. I am glad I am here.

A Short Story: "The Proposal"

She should have seen it coming. Looking back in the years to come, it was so obvious. But she had been on her own for so many years and unloved years before that, even with him at her side. So as Lindy Smith drove her silver Toyota Camry hybrid across the bustling town of Provo, Utah, she had more on her mind than the man she was going to have dinner with.

Lindy was strong. Those who didn't know her well had been know to call her intimidating. She knew what she wanted, how she would get it and no one was going to stop her. At 24 she had left her abusive husband with her two children, a boy and girl, in tow. Back then, divorce was a lot more taboo, even outside of her religious beliefs. And within her church it just did not happen. People whispered, said things, judged--Lindy didn't care. She went back to school, got accepted into law school and graduated Cum Laud of her class at the age of 30. Being a single working mother was tough for her, but she did the best she could. She and the children, Tommy and Brenda, traveled, visiting all the National State parks, Disneyland and Disney World, swam in the Caribbean Sea with turtles and saw whales breaching on a cruise to Alaska. At 36 she became the top family lawyer in her firm and to celebrate they went to France, dined on cheese and bread in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower and toured cathedrals and castles. Her children grew, went to college, served missions for their church and now both were married with children. Lindy was a grandmother, retired lawyer, writer of unpublished poetry, lover of organic gardening and companions with a beautiful Golden Retriever named Susie. Life was good.

And that Golden Retriever and a new hyacinth plant was what was on her mind as she drove to Steve Connor's house across town. This man she had known her entire life, the son of her mother's best friend. Lindy was friends with his sister. She had gone on one date with him in college and went home to laugh about it with her roommates. He was old, quirky and from her past life in California. She got married to her ex-husband 14 months later.

She was 57 when she and Steve reconnected. He became her confidant, her travelling companion and friend. She mourned the 10 year anniversary of his wife's passing with him. He went to family events with her. They laughed and drank hot chocolate at the local I.H.O.P. talking politics and whatever other topics would come to mind. Why she didn't expect what was coming is unknown. But she didn't.

After a delicious dinner of roast turkey and mashed potatoes, they sat in his living room, sipping drinks and debating the latest Washington D.C. debacle until there wasn't much left to debate on it. He was an outspoken Democrat, she a conservative, albeit still outspoken Republican. It left very little unsaid.

There was a comfortable quiet between them now. A soft, spring breeze came in through the window. Lindy could see the gigantic Rocky Mountains out the window, the peaks turning red and purple as the setting sun cast a glow on the snow still present. She was soaking all of this when it happened.

Steve knelt down before her, touched her hand with his and said, "Marry me, Lindy." She raised an eyebrow. He smiled knowingly. "Please," he added with a touch of urgency in his voice.

Her heart skipped a beat. Her heart said yes, her mind asked if her heart was crazy, her mouth said,"I can't."

He slightly pouted. She had never seen him pout, even when she topped him in a political debate. It was kind of cute. It brought out the soft wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. "Lindy, I am so serious. We need each other."

She gently touched his hand. "That's not what this is about, Steve. It's just not. Me, you--we're just . . .friends. Good friends. But friends." She gently pushed his hands away and stood up, moving to the couch across the room. He followed on his knees, not giving up that easily.

"I love you Lindy. Love you! What else would it be about? I need you. Please, marry me?"

She smiled, her eyes glistening through her glasses perched on the nose he was dying to kiss. Her lips were soft, years of experience and life appearing softly beneath her makeup. "No," she said softly.

He furrowed his brow, then raised his eyebrows that were slowly turning from blond to white. "Will you think about it?"

She contemplated this option. "Yes", she said just as the phone rang.

Steve got up to answer it and Lindy let her breath out, unaware she had even been holding it.

"Hi, Mom. . .Great. Hey, guess what! I'm engaged!!" Lindy looked at him in horror. How dare he announce this as an engagement to anyone! He caught her searing glance and added, "Well, I'm engaged, Lindy is still thinking about it."

It was at that moment that she fell head over heels in love with this man. This quirky, liberal Democrat who had come back into her life in such an unexpected way. Of course she didn't tell him for 4 more days. And they were married three months later in a local chapel, their Bishop conducting. She wore a soft ivory dress, he a navy blue suit. They honeymooned in Bar Harbor, Maine at a small Inn on the shore. They rode bikes, boated, hiked, and fell even more in love. It was the beginning of something magical. An incredible way to enter this third chapter of her life.


***Such a rough draft. I don't even know if the years add up right or anything. I just wrote this on a whim after talking to a woman in my ward about how she met her husband. I wanted to get these thoughts down before I forgot.******

Lost and Found

After all the bad news, I knew this was going to end in the same way. I was driving all over the valley, doing my thing and I heard they were searching the Grand Canyon for this couple from Utah. So sad, I thought to myself. So many times there are searches. And so many times the search ends sadly. This one didn't. They were found. Alive and okay. YEAH!! I don't even know them. But they are okay. And for that I am glad tonight.

Missing couple found alive

In Honor of Memorial Day

I have been to the Vietnam Wall quite a few times in my life. I have been overwhelmed by the sense of loss. But this new website that I heard about on the radio, really brought out the reality of these thousands upon thousands of names on that black monument. How these really were people, with hometowns and birthdays. I just typed in a name and started looking at different people. As far as I know, I don't have any relatives on that wall. Yet, someone loved these guys. It's a solemn experiece.

I am grateful for the freedoms we have in this country. I am grateful for our Constitution. No matter how imperfect our government may be we are still very blessed with all we have. That our volunteer army continues on, year after year, out of a love of country and other human beings is almost a miracle in and of itself. Thank you to all who sacrifice so much for our freedom. The mothers, wives, children, fathers, families--the soldiers themselves. Thank you. And God bless you and America.

Click on the following link Vietnam Wall.

Monday's Musings

Hmmm . . .before I started this blog, I had a bunch of ideas of things I wanted to blog about that weren't necessarilly connected to our family blog. Not so sure where all those ideas went to, but I have gotten tired of looking at the American Idol post so I had to type something!!!

So I added a playlist to this blog. And I like it. I like music. It can inspire, uplift--make you feel so good. Course on the flip side, it can make you feel like crap if it's the wrong kind of music. Music is definitly eternal in nature. What does music sound like in heaven?? Absolutely perfect I am sure. Does everything have a song? I have read in some near death experiences that even the flowers have a song. Interesting thought.

What else is on my mind? I am just typing for the heck of it right now. The weather is rainy. I like the rain, though. I miss the rain in North Carolina. I remember the summer we moved there, we lived at a campground for a summer while we were looking for a house. My sister and I lived in a tent while the rest of the fam was in the motorhome. It was cool though. Camping out for an entire summer. But I remember I had never seen rain like I saw that summer. It seriously rained every day in the afternoon. It would start off sunny, a warm afternoon thunderstorm would roll in and you would end the day with a fabulous sunset framed by the beautiful, humble Blue Ridge Mountains.

It was amazing. N.C. is a good place. Sometimes I miss it. Though if we ever leave this valley, I will miss the majestic mountains I see all around me every day. These babies as far as mountain ranges are concerned. I love them. I can't look at them without thinking of my God who created them--created everything here. Wow. We are so lucky to be alive.

American Idol Finale

Okay, so I watched American Idol for the first time tonight. I really can't say much cause I haven't kept up with everyone, but my thoughts on what I saw are . . .

David A.'s voice amazes me. I think David C has more stage presence and I like his voice if I am in that kind of mood. Honestly, they are both great. I thought it was cute how emotional David C was and man, he took the votes, didn't he!? By 12 million. Still, I was a little dissapointed that that fresh faced kid from Utah didn't win. Glad for David C, but . . .

What is this??

This is a place for me to share random thoughts I have at times. My purpose for my family blog is to make a book out of that blog at the end of each year to serve as our family journal. I have found after 10 years of marriage that I will not scrapbook. I like the idea of scrapbooks. I enjoy looking at other people's. But I will not do it. So, I followed my sister's great idea of making a blog and having that be our family journal. But I find myself at times wanting to blog about other random things, yet I didn't really want to clutter the family journal up with my rants and raves. So I decided to make another blog. Why not?? It's free!! So here we are. Now that I think about it, perhaps I should have labeled this my random thoughts--oh well, it is now life's random thoughts.
So that's that.